


Hit The Ace On The Head

by handsinmittens



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, but it's just a way for me to type it out and feel better i guess, i always feel like i'm sorta writing the same fic with asexual characters, i am one of those mean a sexys the internet loves to talk about, i think i'm getting better at titles though, i'm not im joking i swear, it's always a constant game of am i lying to myself really or not, then i'll write a fic and be like hmmmm maybe i am asexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24023137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handsinmittens/pseuds/handsinmittens
Summary: Poe has told you he loves you and you are sure you feel the same but there are some parts of a relationship you don’t like so why bother going into one anyway. Poe wants you to search your feelings you know it be true
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Reader, Poe Dameron/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Hit The Ace On The Head

**Author's Note:**

> I love writing asexual reader it feels good to write for me. I hope when I’m writing them I don’t come off as snobby or rude for writing them. I apologise for a line in this I couldn’t resist. Bon appetit started playing on a spotify playlist I was listening to. Writing an asexual reader fic to a song about getting eaten out

You were in the control room when you could feel a pair of eyes staring at you. You didn’t need the force to know who it was.

Poe had been avoiding you for a few days now but everytime you were in the same room he would always end up looking at you. Usually with a frown on his face. You knew the reason behind this but a few people had come up to quietly mention it and you knew others had gone up to Poe to tell him to knock it off.

It was nice that people cared but you didn’t want to explain to them why it was happening. Your personal life is your own even if sometimes it loves sabotaging you. You sighed out loud as you shuffled through the paperwork that you were given and then you felt someone standing next to you. It was probably Poe. You’d bet credits on it.

“Hey.”

It was definitely Poe. Now you owed yourself some credits. Great, you can finally treat yourself to....something... around here. Sadly no gift shop at the Resistance but perhaps you could convince Leia. She already uses Poe on the posters you’re sure he wouldn’t mind being used as a small figurine. Not that you need a doll of Poe when the real thing was standing next to you and hovering over you.

“You finished ignoring me now?” You said.

“I haven’t been ignoring you.” Poe replied.

“Yes you have. Ever since our conversation the other day, you’ve been ignoring me but you seem to find the time to stare at me.”

“I-”

“I thought we were best friends Poe.”

“We are best friends.”

“Then stop ignoring me.” You said.

“I just needed time.”

“Then why didn’t you say that, instead of completely ignoring me.”

“I just needed time to think about how much of a liar you are.”

“Excuse me?” You said and you turned to look at Poe who was smiling.

“Would you look at that? It’s time for pilot training, we could finish this conversation but you gave that up.” Poe winked and left and you hated him.

You had given up on piloting due to an extremely bad experience and you didn’t think having a panic attack in the middle of a battle would be a good thing so you asked for a transfer to somewhere quieter. Leia had put you on the area that decoded transmissions from the First Order, something you had found yourself excelling at.

Poe liked to tease you that you only transferred because he was too good of a pilot and it made you so upset you quit. You replied back that it was because his big ego was taking all the space and therefore you couldn’t see a single thing. He then said that wasn’t the only thing that was big about him and before you could say anything back he had run off.

You missed the days where you and Poe could tease each other about anything but that was before he decided to tell you he was in love with you and everything after that went to shit.

—————————————————————————————– 

After the destruction for Starkiller base the celebrations had gone on for days but as they started wind down and people stopped being hungover everyday, Poe had pulled you aside and asked you if you could go for a walk somewhere private.

After some nervous stuttering and a lot of him running his hands through his hair Poe had told you he loved you. You had know each for a few years and had struck up a close friendship. Of course you had developed feelings for him, he almost made it impossible not to.

As it turned out Poe had done exactly the same. It had been a shock to you when he managed to blurt out his feelings which had taken a while with how many times he had stumbled over his words. It only made you fall a little bit more in love with him. Just a tiny bit.

Once you’d recovered from the shock of the pilot telling you, or rather blurting out, you told him you felt the same. Something you wish you hadn’t done now.

While you did like Poe you were afraid of what a relationship might entail. You wanted all the parts of a relationship with him except for sex. You’d been around other people long enough to know that that it was something a lot of people liked to do. Which is fine but it’s not for you. You were aware that it was also something Poe liked to do and you didn’t want to take that away from him. As silly as it may sound to you.

“Hello?”

“Hmm?”

You didn’t realise you had drifted off into your own thoughts and completely forgotten about everything and everyone else.

“I don’t want this to be awkward between us. You know what maybe we should forget the whole thing I know Finn got some of that First Order stuff. It’s very strong. I remember the last time I drank it I.... well I don’t remember the last time.” Poe said.

“Next time maybe don’t accept a drink called special stormtrooper brew.”

“Finn is my friend it would of been rude of me to refuse.”

“That’s exactly why you don’t remember that entire weekend. Speaking of, you owe me 100 credits.”

“No I don’t.”

“You do, you just don’t remember.”

“I take it back I take everything back. I don’t love you, in fact I don’t even like you. You are a horrible, horrible person.”

You smiled but inside you were panicking. Poe just said he loves you so casually as if you’d been dating a while and it was something he said constantly.

“Poe I-”

He waited patiently while you explained everything in a normal way where two adults could talk things out and come to a good conclusion to it all.

Except that didn’t happen because nothing ever goes right anymore. Instead you told him you lied and you really didn’t feel the same and that you think you were just better off being friends. It was what you were good at and you should keep at it. You had made it sound like being friends with Poe was a job.

You had run off before he could say anything back and that lead him to ignoring you for a few days.

—————————————————————————————– 

That all happened a few days ago and now Poe had finally started to speak to you again. Even if he did accuse you of being a liar. You knew he said that so you’d follow him and tell him how wrong he was. You didn’t have time for that and you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction.

Alright maybe you were.

You asked Leia for a break so you could grab a drink and some food and she agreed. You had a sneaking suspicion she knew that you were going to follow Poe and tell him exactly how wrong he is.

“Dameron!” You yelled as loud as you could.

“You don’t have to shout so loud I’m right here.”

Poe was leaning against the wall with his signature smug grin on his face. Like he knew you’d end up chasing after him.

“You’re wrong. I’m not a liar.”

“Yo-”

“No I said what I needed to say and that’s that on that.”

“You’re a liar and I want the truth.”

“You can’t handle the truth.”

“I deserve it. You told me you loved me too but then you backtracked on that almost immediately. Why?”

You were going to leave him and go back to your work but the pain in Poe’s eyes made you stay. He was right. You owed him an explanation. He was your best friend through thick and thin and he wouldn’t laugh at you or mock you just for you were.

Unlike some people you had known in your past.

“You ever heard of sex?” You asked.

“I may of.”

“Have you ever had sex?”

“Once or twice.”

“I haven’t.”

“If the reason you don’t want to be with me because you don’t have experience in sex then that’s ridiculous.”

“I have no doubt you would be a great teacher bu-”

“A very giving teacher.”

You were making this worse which was making him worse.

“Do you like sex?”

“I do enjoy it, why?”

“I don’t.”

“What?” He asked. Poe was no longer leaning against the wall with that smug grin on his face.

“I won’t enjoy it is what I should of said.”

“Did something happen?” He seemed genuinely concerned.

“Nothing happened it’s just me. How I am.”

You could feel yourself on the edge of a panic attack. Who knew trying to explain to someone you didn’t feel sexual attraction would be so hard?

Pun not intended.

“Hey, it’s ok I got you.”

Poe pulled you into a hug and you felt safe in his arms. It felt like nothing could go wrong and all was right.

Even though you felt like all was not right.

“I do love you, you know, and you are my best friend but I don’t feel sexual attraction to you or to anyone. I’m just me. I like you in a romantic way and I do want to be with you.” You said, your voice muffled because your face was being smothered by his body.

“Is this why your acted the way you did the other night?”

“I don’t want to be the reason why you have to give up something you enjoy. Call me selfish but I don’t want to share you with anyone else and I don’t mean this to sound like an ultimatum.” You said and you pushed away from his embrace.

Poe was silent and he looked lost in thought. The longer he didn’t say anything the more nervous you got.

“This is the truth?” He asked.

“Yes. I would completely understand if you didn’t want to be with me I would not judge you for it.”

“I do want to be with you. I always will. If you don’t want to have sex I’m ok with that, if you do then I’m ok with that too. I didn’t fall for you just to get you into my bed.”

“You would still want that with me?”

“You can’t get rid of me this easily.”

Poe always managed to get a laugh out of you and the rising panic attack in you was slowly ebbing away.

“We don’t have to rush into anything. We can start out with hand holding.”

“Ooooh no too spicy for me.” You said and you took his hand in yours and you couldn’t contain the grin you had.

You didn’t need to worry after all.


End file.
